It’s been a month since my precious momma went to be with
the Lord. And I do mean that she went to
be with the Lord. My mother was a
Christian. She knew where she was going
and wasn’t afraid of dying. You don’t go
to Heaven because you’re a good person.
You don’t go to Heaven because you attend church, don’t cuss, go to VBS,
teach Sunday School, are a preacher’s kid, live in the South, are a “good
person”. No no and NO! Those things (and the list could go on and
on) will NOT get you into Heaven. Never
have. Never will.
Joel 2:32
“And everyone who calls on the name of the LORD will be
saved; for on Mount Zion and in Jerusalem there will be deliverance, as the
LORD has said, even among the survivors whom the LORD calls”.
Acts 2:21
“And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be
saved.”
Romans 10:13
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be
saved.”
Ephesians 2:8-10
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and
this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no
one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do
good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
There you go… It’s not us.
It’s HIM. Jesus. He saved us.
We can’t save ourselves. You must
surrender your life, admit you’re a sinner, and ask for Jesus to come into your
heart. Mom did that. She’s in Paradise forever. Eternity.
There is no end to forever.
The reality hasn't set in yet. I miss her like crazy. I promise I reach for my phone several times a day to call her. I want to call her when I'm driving because it seems to be calmer in the car (kid wise) than when we are at home. I want to call her in the mornings to see how she is, all throughout the day, and at night. I always always always called her before bed. I remember in the last few months being so tired at night and thinking I couldn't muster up the strength to talk, but I did. I knew the day would come that mom wouldn't be here and I would long to call her. Y'all I DO!!! I want to talk to that woman so bad. I have so much to tell her.
I have been so scared for anything new to happen. I think the Lord has protected me this last month. We've just kind of trucked right along without any excitement. But it's coming. Annie will be 1 at the end of the month and I have begun planning her party. I want to cry when I think I can't share stuff with mom. She doesn't know the theme, what Annie will wear, she hasn't seen the invitations, or the decorations I've been working on.
I told you I have mom's nightgown she wore a lot and it was with her in the hospital. I would cover her up with it. I have it. Thank you God that it still faintly smells like my mom. I go in my closet and get a big sniff of it every day. I try not to breathe for a few seconds so I can't hold her scent in my nose. It makes me feel close to her.
I've only gone to my parents' house twice. It's hard. Everything there reminds me of her. I don't see how Dad endures that every single day. Her dying put so much into perspective for me. Mom had a lot of stuff. She had clothes, jewelry, shoes, purses, home decor, nick-knacks, a wallet, pillow, slippers, etc. All "her" stuff. It's hers. Always will be in my mind, but she is gone. She doesn't need anything anymore. Nothing. You can't take it with you when you're gone. You're "stuff" doesn't matter. It's your legacy that does. I know, for me personally, my mom left a wonderful legacy behind. She loved. She loved everyone. She was a living example of the "fruits of the Spirit."
Galatians 5:22
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."
My mom was always a lady. She was very proper. The woman never once in my life ever wore bluejeans. She didn't leave the house unless her hair and make-up were done and her jewelry was on. She wasn't fancy by any means, but she was a beautiful lady. I rarely remember her getting upset with me. I honestly don't remember her ever spanking me. She was patient. She was always there. We didn't grow up with a lot of money. I never wanted for anything... all my needs were met. Mom stayed home with us. Whenever I needed her she was there. Always. And now she's not here and it's hard. It hurts. I have that lump in my throat as I write this. I miss her. Ford misses her. He is constantly asking about Gran. He asks me if she misses him. That's hard to answer. I told him Heaven is a happy place. There is no sickness, no sadness, only happiness. I told him I don't think she realizes we aren't there yet, or she might be sad.
Then there's Bitty. Oh he's another case of his own. He was concerned that Gran got dirt in her eyes when they buried her. Oh my... I will just stop there.
But, mom's passing has put my personal life into perspective. We aren't promised tomorrow. People will remember you and not your stuff. Leave behind a God loving legacy.
