Tomorrow. Tomorrow is
February 19. Tomorrow is the 5 year
anniversary that Trey and I were given some of the most upsetting news that we
have had to face as a married couple.
Some of you may not know that we lost a baby in 2008. It really isn't something we talk about a lot
and I think our society has tried to condition people not to talk about a
miscarriage. Well, I had one at 10
weeks.
I don’t talk about baby #1 a lot, but that certainly doesn't mean I don’t think about that child. I
wonder all the time what he/she would have looked like. I think about that baby on September 10, my
due date. I look at Ford and John
Brantley and think that I actually have another child, but one I never got to
hold.
I am not writing this because I am sad. I am completely at peace knowing the Lord
needed that baby more than I did and the child would never have to experience
this wicked world. I am writing this for
two reasons. First, I just wanted to
remember the life I did have inside of me.
I saw that sweet baby’s heart beating and loved him/her from the moment
I knew he/she was in my belly. And
secondly, I know a lot of my friends and blog readers have also experienced the
pain of a miscarriage. I am a FIRM
believer that God has a perfect plan for our lives. We don’t always understand why things happen,
but we must trust in him and be patient.
I sat on the couch a few minutes ago and looked through a zip
lock full of cards and letters we received after we lost our baby. It was so comforting to read them and know
that people cared, had been through similar situations, and were praying for
us.
During the time that we lost our baby I was living in
Senatobia while Trey was in school in St. Louis. Valentine’s Day of 2008 we knew our baby was
sick and he sent me two roses and this card….
I still have things that remind me of baby #1. All the flowers I got during that time are in
the extra bathroom for me to look at…
And I still have the card in my wallet that the doctor gave
us when we found out our baby no longer had a heartbeat.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
4 comments:
After I lost my father, a friend gave me the book Heaven is for Real. I proscrastinated reading it and a year after he died I actually read the book. I hope you have the opportunity to read that book because it will give you a perspective on Heaven and all the children who are taken too soon.
Sweet, sweet post, Jill.
Hi I'm Heather! Please email me when you get a chance, I have a question about your blog! LifesABanquet1(at)gmail.com
Sweet post, Jill! I, too, think about the two sweet babies that I never got to hold. Prayers for you, and just imagine how AWESOME it's going to be when we meet them some day! God is good all the time! :)
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